


Calling Bluffs

by d_sieya



Category: The Big Bang Theory
Genre: Chocolate, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-07
Updated: 2009-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_sieya/pseuds/d_sieya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn’t matter that chocolate is technically not an aphrodisiac. When it comes to getting back at Sheldon, Penny’s ready to pretend anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Calling Bluffs

“He _WHAT_?”

Leonard jumped backward a few steps. He didn’t know if it was natural or also a result of Sheldon’s ‘conditioning,’ but Penny’s voice had gotten alarmingly low. Like a demon’s. Or Darth Vader’s.

“It’s, it’s nothing!” Leonard hurried to calm, waving his hands in what he hoped was a placating manner. “It’s just, he was getting annoyed I guess at, at _us_ , and he decided to… return things back to the status quo.”

Penny didn’t answer. Her normally beautiful face was contorted in inexpressible anger, currently directed at him.

She finally took an advancing step toward Leonard. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Her voice was calm, but in an “eye of the hurricane” way.

“Well—I tried to get him to stop—”

“ _And you didn’t tell me_?” They were close now, her leaning forward and down in a threatening manner that made him want to back away more if her couch wasn’t behind him.

“He—he wouldn’t—”

“Leonard,” she bit out. “If _Sheldon_ is doing something to me, _you tell ME_ , got it?” She jabbed a finger at him. “You may be my boyfriend, but it’s not _your_ responsibility to try to control what is _happening_ to me— _especially_ if it’s because of _Sheldon_! You. Tell. Me.” She paused. “ _Got it_?”

“Got it.”

“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

\---

Penny brushed past Leonard, sweeping out of her door and down the hall. The door to 4A was closed, as usual, and Sheldon was probably ordering pizza or whatever the hell he did right after work.

She raised her fist, ready to slam it into the door three times, but an errant thought made her pause. Sheldon was human. (Right?) What if…

No. She couldn’t pull this off. He’d see right through it, or it plain wouldn’t work on him.

Penny narrowed her eyes.

But what if it did?

She suppressed her triumphant, slightly evil smile, and knocked on the door three times. Softly. Sweetly.

Sheldon opened the door, the deceptively kind smile on his face to which she had unknowingly (well, knowingly now) become accustomed the other night. Penny was a little humiliated at the sight of him, that she had fallen for his, his _training_ like she was one of the dumber horses at the farm back home, but she channeled all of that into a bright smile.

“Hi Sheldon!”

“ _Hello_ , Penny!”

 _Must not punch, must not punch, must not punch_ …

“Can I come in?”

“Of _course_ , I was _just_ placing our order at the Thai restaurant.”

 _Holy hell, how did I not see through this?_ she asked herself, feeling a little repelled at his kindness and enthusiasm.

The mail was dropped haphazardly onto Leonard’s desk, the various letters and junk and magazines strewn about. She stared at it for a second, and then had an inexplicable urge to straighten it up. Refusing to let her face tighten up in anger, Penny recognized _that_ as Sheldon’s little experiment. Then she had a quite explicable urge to pick up all of the mail and throw it at him.

She suppressed that, thankfully.

She looked up. Sheldon was on the phone, his back turned to her, the phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear as he moved some dishes from the sink to the cupboards. Penny positioned herself by Leonard’s desk and waited for him to turn around.

He did so, and instantly she reached forward, gathered up all of the mail, and put all of the letters into a neat little pile, throwing away the obvious ads.

Then, very deliberately, she smiled at him.

Sheldon had the chocolate ready, holding it out in front of him as he detailed the order to the restaurant on the other line. At this point Penny was particularly glad that he was not adept at reading body language, because she wasn’t really able to keep both of her hands from balling into fists.

“Ooh, thanks!” Maybe she put a little more bite into that phrase than was really necessary, but it was Sheldon, so.

Striding across the room, Penny picked a piece out of the box and plopped it into her mouth. And, okay, sue her, she couldn’t quite stop herself from moaning a little. Sheldon was a smart man, to use chocolate. She didn’t think anything else would have worked, and it helped that the chocolate was so. freaking. Good.

At this point Leonard walked in, caught sight of her eating the chocolate, and opened his mouth—no doubt to ask what the hell was up, didn’t they discuss Sheldon’s little experiment and how he like wasn’t allowed to do it?

So she pursed her lips, widened her eyes in what she hoped was a significant “shut the hell up right now” way, and glanced at Sheldon. He was looking smug. How typical.

Leonard frowned, closed his mouth, and then opened it again. “Penny? Can I… talk to you?”

“Of course, sweetie!”

She threw one last very very sugary smile at Sheldon before she disappeared down the hall into Leonard’s room.

She knew the rules.

Now damn her if she wasn’t gonna play the game.

\---

Over the next few days, Penny played very carefully. She didn’t give Sheldon any hint that she knew what was going on, but she also didn’t let him implement any new “training” exercises on her. And she allowed the chocolate to keep coming. She made sure not to start her little plan yet, to let him think _he_ had control over the experiment, and slowly tested her boundaries.

For example, tidying up earned her a piece.

Sitting automatically on the middle cushion didn’t.

Putting her feet on the table initiated what she had come to know as the training sequence.

And asking his mother for the recipe to peach cobbler got her a whole freaking box.

It was a Saturday when she began.

The four of them were watching a movie together, and Penny was sitting just a hair closer to Sheldon than she normally would. Wolowitz leaned down to mutter something to Raj on the floor, and Penny seized her chance.

“Shh!” It was the strictest, most Sheldon-y “shh” she had ever given.

Wolowitz turned around to stare at her, but Penny focused on the rustle of paper to her left. Within two seconds, there was a piece of chocolate in front of her face.

Penny leaned forward, slowly, shutting her eyes when she got close. Her teeth grazed his index finger, and she flicked her tongue for the tiniest second over his thumb as she took the chocolate into her mouth.

Next to her, Sheldon started, but she pretended to not notice as she languidly moved the bit of chocolate around in her mouth. Then (and, okay, maybe she used an image of Brad Pitt for reference here) she let out a low, throaty moan.

“God. This stuff is so good,” she murmured, pretending to be ambivalent to the looks of the four boys around her, who were staring as if she was suddenly dressed in Leia’s slave-dancer bikini.

\---

The next day Sheldon rewarded her for muting Project Runway. This time, he held out the box instead of an individual piece, his face a little cautious.

“Thanks!” As usual, she made sure her voice was bright and not suspicious at all.

She popped the chocolate into her mouth, sensing his wary eyes still on her, and, after swallowing she made sure to confirm his worst suspicions by looking at him through lidded eyes and saying, “Mmm. Chocolate turns me on so _much_.”

His cautious look went to downright alarm. Taking another chocolate, she turned around, flashed him a grin and a shrug, and made a grand (in her mind) exit out of the apartment.

\---

Penny could tell that Sheldon hadn’t mentioned anything to Leonard. Leonard wasn’t in on the specifics of her plan; he would be uncomfortable and would surely say something if Sheldon mentioned that his chocolate was having, as he would say, “aphrodisiacal effects” on Penny. This meant one of two things: either Sheldon didn’t notice (which Penny wouldn’t believe for a second), or that he _did_ notice and was so uncomfortable and so eager to repair the problem, that it hadn’t even crossed his mind to talk to Leonard.

Penny hoped deeply for the latter

Because today was Day One of the “relapse” part of her plan.

She let herself into 4A. Sheldon was sitting in his cushion, playing Conan or Warcraft or what the hell ever. Penny made a beeline for the middle cushion, sat down, and put her feet on the coffee table whilst turning on the TV. As she expected, Sheldon cleared his throat and, as she expected to, she took her feet off the table. And, as she also expected, she didn’t receive a chocolate for her “good” behavior.

Penny allowed herself a smirk.

She sat still for a very long fifteen minutes, the TV volume relatively low, and once those fifteen minutes were up she nonchalantly set her feet back on the coffee table.

Out of the corner of her eye, she was able to see Sheldon look at her, but her only response was to wriggle a little more into her seat and turn the volume up a few notches.

Then she heard the tell-tale sigh.

Feigning surprise, she turned her head to look at him. “Oh! Do you want me to take my feet down?”

They stared at each other for a moment, after which he just said, “Yes.”

Penny waited, pretending to consider it _just long enough_ to make him worried that she wasn’t going to do it at all. Then she shrugged, and took her feet off, but didn’t turn down the TV.

In a second she was greeted by the box of chocolates.

This time, she suppressed the smirk, and glanced at him. Sheldon’s face was highly reluctant, as if he had told himself that he was only going to offer the chocolate under extreme circumstances and even now he wasn’t sure.

 _May I add: muah, ha, ha_ , she thought, smugly.

Taking a bit, she popped it into her mouth. Next to her she felt him shift slightly away. She chewed and still kept her focus on the TV, and, just as she felt him gear up for a silent sigh of relief, she looked at him.

Her teeth were playing on her bottom lip, and she glanced at him from under her lids. She could hear death and destruction happening on his laptop, but he was staring at her, looking truly frightened.

Now running her tongue over her lips, she gave him very obvious elevator-eyes. With anyone else it would have been over-the-top, but it was Sheldon; when it came to body language you had to be a little (or a lot) over-the-top.

And it worked.

He swallowed.

And a flash of red appeared across his cheekbones.

Quicker than she thought he could be, he relocated out of his spot and into—of all places—the armchair. He looked highly uncomfortable but didn’t comment and sat there, pretending to be immersed in his game.

Penny gasped, a real one. _This is a… new development._ She could tell he misinterpreted the gasp, because he jumped, fidgeted in the armchair for a moment or two, and rose jerkily from the chair and walked to his bedroom.

Penny stared after him.

Oh.

My.

God.

She was gonna _run_ with this.

\---

It was Monday again when she showed up with Leonard at his apartment, her back pockets stuffed with fun-sized Hershey bars. It was Thai night again, and Howard, Raj, and Sheldon were all in their places around the coffee table.

Leonard moved to sit down. Normally Penny wouldn’t have noticed something as completely inane as that except for it was in _her_ cushion. And, yeah, she realized that she was acting like exactly like Sheldon, but she needed that seat to continue with this little game Sheldon didn’t know she was playing.

So she darted behind Leonard and jumped into her seat, barreling into Sheldon’s shoulder in her haste. Leonard made a little noise of surprise, flailed, and toppled neatly over her legs and onto the right side of the couch.

“Sorry, honey!” she said, laughing lightly as if she were flirting. “Didn’t see you there,” she murmured, making eyes so he wouldn’t suspect anything, and she pushed herself off of Sheldon’s side.

Still smiling, she looked over at him. He was comically frozen, left hand gripping his plate and right hand his fork. There were little bits of food on his lap that had fallen when Penny basically tackled her seat and, by extension, him.

“Sorry, Shelly.”

“Don’t call me Shelly,” he replied automatically, leaning forward to put his food on the table and picking up a napkin.

Wow.

He hadn’t even scolded her for running into him. She really must’ve freaked him out.

“Okay, _Sheldon_.”

Sheldon froze for the tiniest second, but then ignored her and began to clean up his lap.

“Gosh,” Penny remarked, suddenly, tapping her fingers against her knee and then rubbing her thigh. “For some reason, I _really_ want chocolate right now.”

Sheldon froze. Again.

“You sure you don’t have any left, Sheldon?” she asked, leaning toward him. He leaned away.

“I am sure.” He tried for nonchalance, but she saw right through it.

Penny sighed dramatically. Her audience—Raj, Howard, and Leonard—were staring at her.

“Oh!”

Sheldon was just picking his food back up when he turned to look at her. If the look on his face were captioned, it would be “Deer Caught In Headlights.”

“What is _this_?” Penny continued, lifting her hips off of the couch and digging into her back pocket. She drew a Hershey’s milk chocolate. “Oh, hey, look at that!” Smiling, she unwrapped it and made to put it in her mouth.

Apparently Sheldon was fast like a freak because suddenly the chocolate bar was in his hand, and he tossed it onto the table and away from her.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, affronted. “What the hell was that?”

“You’re eating a lot of chocolate, Penny. I believe that too much in large quantities is bad for one’s health.”

Oh, _this was rich_ , coming from the man who hand-fed her like three boxes.

“You know what?” And before he was so much as able to say something stupid like _I know everything_ , she reached into her back pocket and pulled out another one and ate it.

Leonard, Raj, and Howard were watching her like she was crazy, Sheldon was watching her like she was about to explode, and Penny was very deliberately not acting any different than usual. Minutes passed, in which the former three slowly turned back to food and conversation, but Sheldon kept his eyes on Penny. She felt his gaze like an anchor but didn’t acknowledge it, enjoying keeping him on edge like this.

Sheldon calmed over the course of dinner since she was making sure to not act all, you know, hot and bothered. But then Raj and Howard left and Leonard went downstairs to empty the trashcan, leaving her and Sheldon alone in the apartment.

He was cleaning up, going on and on about this, that, and the other, when she decided to try something.

“Sheldon, please shut up.”

Sure, it was a little mean, but the guy had tried to train her, so she didn’t feel very guilty about it.

He stopped and looked at her in incredulity for a moment, and then he said, “ _No_ ,” and started to go off again.

So she leaned forward from her seat, picked up the chocolate bar he had thrown on the table. He saw her and stopped.

“Man,” she remarked, twirling it between her fingers. “I wonder what two of these babies would do to me.”

She looked at him. He had stopped talking and was staring at her, looking like he was afraid to even move.

Penny sighed dramatically. “I’ll just say, as it is I can’t wait until Leonard gets home, how bad will I be if I eat _another one_ , you know?”

Sheldon opened his mouth, possibly to try to answer her question, but she moved the chocolate closer to her lips. He closed his mouth again.

 _Aha_.

Pretending to contemplate the chocolate, she said, “I don’t even know if I can wait until _Leonard_ gets home,” and looked at him sideways. She watched him fidget, blush a little, then shuffle backwards a few inches.

Satisfied with her work and almost unable to hold in a triumphant dance, she shrugged and dropped the chocolate bar right into his spot, got up, and left the apartment. “Bye, Shelly!”

\---

The next day and a half contained, sad to say, some of the _most fun_ moments of Penny’s life. She made Sheldon make her coffee. She made him fold her laundry even though it wasn’t laundry night. She made him watch _Friends_ with her. And, most fun of all, she made him blush countless times.

All she had to do was go for the chocolate.

Revenge was freakin’ sweet.

And then it was Wednesday night. She was paired with Leonard against Sheldon and Raj for Halo, and Sheldon. was. beating. her. It was almost as humiliating as when she found out about his little experiment the week before.

So she got cocky with the chocolate.

Risking taking her hand off the controller, she dove her fingers into her back pocket and deftly, one-handedly, unwrapped a Hershey’s. Then she waved the wrapper in front of his face.

“What’re you—” he started, jerking a little when his line of vision was interrupted. He looked down at her (all four players were standing up, leaning toward the TV), and Penny met him with a challenging stare.

She went cold when she saw the brief light of realization in his eyes.

Flushing furiously, she ate the chocolate anyway and jumped back into the game, not allowing for him to comment unless he wanted his head blown off.

She and Leonard lost.

Badly.

As they packed up the game, Penny tried to surreptitiously study Sheldon. He was basking in his victory and showed no sign of being onto her, so to speak. She left the apartment early and didn’t let Leonard come with her because she needed to think.

 _I mean_ , she reasoned, _I have nothing to be afraid of. If he calls me out, so what? Then I can tell him that his little stupid-ass trickery backfired on him, and I’ll still win._

Despite this, she was still afraid of him calling her out on it.

There was that look on his face, the realization… but he could have been realizing anything. He could have been realizing that she may jump him or whatever if she ate the chocolate. He could have been realizing that she had a chocolate addiction. He could have been realizing a thousand different things, it didn’t have to be the fact that she was toying with him.

But she had to find out.

So the next day, when Howard and Raj were on their way over and Leonard was picking up the pizza, Penny headed over to Sheldon’s.

They didn’t say anything to each other as she perched herself on a stool and he poured himself a glass of juice.

“Pour me one, Sheldon?”

He looked at her, and she was a little taken aback at the nonchalance in his eyes as he said, “No.”

“Why not?” Penny’s hand drifted to her pocket.

“I won’t have enough left for tomorrow morning.”

“Fair enough.”

Casually, she began to unwrap her last chocolate bar. She was aware that both of them were watching each other out of the corners of their eyes.

 _Take this, Shelly_ , she thought viciously.

Putting the candy into her mouth, she closed her eyes, bent her head, and let out a low, quiet moan. Then she peeked and Sheldon still seemed disinterested. So she let out a tiny breath, straightening and not-quite-arching her back, clenching her hands into fists.

“Sheldon.” She made her voice deliberately low, throaty, and she leaned forward, grateful that her tank top was low-cut. “What would you do… if I told you to come over here so I can kiss you?”

The look on his face would have been worth breaking her façade for and grabbing a camera. Smug, she could tell he was going to back down, blush, get her the juice, then escape into his room.

But he didn’t.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes and set the glass down. Then he walked so he stood in front of her, still sitting on the stool.

“Fine,” he said.

Penny stared.

And stared.

Then the beginnings of a triumphant smirk began to appear at the corners of his mouth, about to evolve into an expression annoyingly similar to the one he was wearing last night when he kicked her ass at Halo.

This was it. This was him calling her bluff.

But neither of them expected her to call his.

Penny yanked Sheldon down by his shirt and planted one on him. He made a little noise at the back of his throat, but was apparently too stunned to do much else. She took advantage of this, sliding off the stool and forcing him to walk backwards, her hands now locked around the back of his neck to hold him where he was.

The kiss remained close-mouthed, except for at the end when she swept the tip of her tongue along the crease of his lips. Then she shoved him. He hit the refrigerator and for a moment there was utter silence and stillness in which they looked at each other, his face pale, hers flushed.

Then he pressed his lips together for an instant, pushed himself away from the fridge, and some of the color returned to his face. “Well,” he started, “that was—”

“ _Don’t even_ , Sheldon.” All of the anger and humiliation she had felt was now bubbling over. “You freaking deserved that _and_ everything else I did to you this week!”

“I hardly think so! Granted, yesterday when I realized what you were doing I admit I was momentarily impressed by your cunning and subtlety, in _no_ way does a few hours of me getting your feet off the table, or keeping you from _screeching_ anything you want to, deserve—”

“Oh, really?” she interrupted, her voice sarcastic. “Because I think it does. Shut up and let me finish! I was taking _revenge_ , Sheldon, yes, mostly for _that_ but also for all the _other_ fucking times you’ve called me stupid or ADD or what the fuck ever! And you’re just angry I managed to trick you!”

Sheldon’s face was slowly getting as red as hers, and they were advancing on each other.

“I’m angry that your sudden and inexplicable _relationship_ with Leonard is ruining my life—”

“It’s ruining your routine, don’t act like it’s the same!

“—and I’m angry that you _did_ trick me, Penny, not just that you _managed_ to despite the fact I was under the impression that you had little acting tal—”

Her next words were aimed to kill. “Don’t you dare call me a shitty actress when you’re even shittier of a friend!” At the look on his face she continued, “Yeah, no, that’s right, you heard me! I don’t care how much I was ‘ruining your life’ or whatever, but we’re _freaking friends_ , Sheldon, and don’t you pull that ‘since when did we become friends’ shit on me again, you _know_ we’re friends and if you wanted me to turn the noise down or or or, I don’t know, use a _coaster_ or whatever, then you ask me to and I will! But, no, I have to become the _stupid bitch_ that might as well be in a dog show!”

“Yes, you might do so this time—” They were remarkably close now, their faces inches from each other, but Penny had never felt like she was in a less intimate situation in her life. “—but fifteen minutes, a day, a week from now you do the same thing! You have no consistency of which to speak! You are constantly thinking about yourself or whatever new _paramour_ you have attached to your side, and my life was _consistent_ until you integrated yourself into it—”

“Yeah, well, you know what Sheldon?” Penny plowed on, even more fired up that he was fighting back, now just throwing out words without abandon. “Go ‘head, I’ll leave you alone to go back to your sick little routine life, because I’m tired of it! You think the sun shines out of your—”

“—it doesn’t even matter if you leave or not because whether you’re here or out that door you still interrupt _everything_!”

“Ex _cuse_ me if I leave and you you notice like the couch has moved over like an inch—”

“It isn’t just that, it’s, you—I—”

In a vindictive way, Penny enjoyed his speechlessness, even though she wasn’t quite sure what they were yelling about anymore. “Never thought I’d see the day,” she tossed one last one over her shoulder as she strode to the door. As she hit the hallway, lips still tingling, she saw out of the corner of her eye Howard, Raj, and Leonard rushing back down the stairs as if they weren’t listening at the door.

After she slammed her door and kicked the couch a few times, the argument and, ahem, what _led_ to the argument started to replay back in her head. His voice, all over again, still tugging at her as if he was still in the room, shouting things at her. Refusing to do anything stupid and weak like _crying_ , she went to pull down a bottle of wine and a boxed set of _Gossip Girl_.

There was a knock at the door. At first she thought it was Leonard coming to talk, which she did _not_ feel like doing, but then she heard Sheldon’s voice—“Penny.” The process was repeated, once, twice.

For a moment she had a very strong desire to ignore him, but, bottle of wine in hand, she swung the door open.

His stance and facial expression could only be described as _defiantly awkward_. After opening the door, he pressed his lips together again before speaking.

“I’m not here to apologize for what I said.”

“Imagine that.”

“Although I do regret tricking you.”

“Hm.”

Pause.

“Am I correct in assuming that you won’t apologize either?”

“Yup.” She popped the ‘p’. Although she was still mad as hell and fully intended on making him do all the work for whatever little stint he had planned here, she allowed herself to be a little satisfied that they at least agreed that they meant what they said to one another. It surprised her that that didn’t even hurt; the honesty was nice at least.

He nodded, and glanced down once at his hands.

When he looked back up at her, he did something that made quite a few things click into place. His eyes lingered for a hair too long on her lips.

For a moment, Penny believed she got insight onto how Sheldon’s brain worked when a thousand things flashed at her at once. Some of the impressions stuck out: him blushing, him shouting, _until you integrated yourself into it_..., her watching him work, him struggling for words, _whether you’re here or out that door you still interrupt everything_ , pressing his lips together, her lips tingling and tingling, and everything was so suddenly overwhelming how the hell did someone survive with a brain like this?

Instead of confusing her, relieving her, exciting her, shocking her into speechlessness herself, for some reason, she wasn’t sure why, it provoked her.

“ _Oh_ , I know what this is about.”

“Doubtful.” His voice was condescending, and he punctuated the sentence with his stupid little _I-know-things-you-won’t-ever-be-able-to-wrap-your-mind-around_ smirk.

The air between them became charged again, getting ready for another battle, and Penny prepared to say something that would make him back down, or brush the whole thing aside like he was so fucking good at doing, so they could be properly angry at each other for a satisfactory amount of time until they became just friends again, because even though she hated him to the point she wanted to shove dry-erase markers into his eye sockets, she loved him too much to really truly leave like she had threatened, and, _Wrap your mind around this, Doctor Cooper._

“ _Doubtful_ , but not _impossible_ , right?” The condescension in Penny’s smirk could have given Sheldon’s a run for its money. Her tone was deliberately provocative, and she pushed every word out of her throat with total control. “ _Go ahead_. Lay it on me.” And, when he stared at her, suddenly wary, she tilted her head and let one corner of her mouth perk up even more. “I’m _waiting_ ,” she sing-songed.

Still nothing.

Penny allowed the moment to stretch on for a few more seconds, until she sighed. The sigh wasn’t very believable, due to the fact she was still grinning at him. “I thought not,” she stage-whispered. “Well, Sheldon, this was nice, but,” she held up the bottle of wine, “as you can see, I have a date, so I’m just gonna shut this door in—”

She really should have seen it coming. She was still watching him closely, and his blue eyes became more determined, his stance stronger, but no, she was too busy gloating to remember that this was a night of calling bluffs and Sheldon was definitely getting ready to call hers.

All at once Sheldon was kissing her, closed-mouth like before, but somehow it made her mind draw a complete blank. He pressed his mouth against her upper lip, then her bottom lip, and all she could feel was a vague tingling and her face and neck and chest heating up like that time she tripped and fell in front of the casting director. Then, in a move oddly reminiscent of the kitchen, she felt him just barely taste along the crease of her lips and, all at once, he wasn’t kissing her anymore.

Penny was still frozen, staring up at him, and instinctively she pressed her lips together so as to surreptitiously taste them without him noticing

Her voice was hoarse as she said, “You know I didn’t actually want you to do that. I was bluffing.”

Sheldon, for lack of a better word, _studied_ her for a moment, his eyes sweeping over her face, her neck, and she expected him to point and say something like, _The flush and your dilated pupils would suggest otherwise._

“I wasn’t,” he said instead.


	2. Unsaid I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His inner voice politely didn’t mention that he had also chosen to forgo romance and intimate relationships because they were, on the whole, quite frankly beyond him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically, this is the first part of a sequel to "Calling Bluffs", the previous chapter.

Beyond the necessary, Sheldon Cooper did not care much for examining his interpersonal relationships. Once they were established, that was that and now it was time for him to move onto mysteries of the world.

But of course when it came to her that all went out of the proverbial window.

At times he could almost hear himself from as close as three weeks ago, scolding: _Dr. Cooper, this is why you chose to forgo romance and intimate relationships; they are detrimental to your health, sleep, and, most importantly, your work..._ His inner voice politely didn’t mention that he had also chosen to forgo romance and intimate relationships because they were, on the whole, quite frankly beyond him.

To either point Sheldon didn’t have a coherent response, except for a feeling in his gut that he recognized as intuition telling him that _both_ points were unimportant.

This didn’t at all help him to solve his problem, however.

Two nights before, he had stood outside her door and watched a flush spread across her skin. He remembered it deepening after their short exchange of words. In his past experiences with Penny, she tended to flush after she was flattered, embarrassed, angry, or late. He was unable to see how his two words, _“I wasn’t,”_ could cause her to be any of those. They were truthful but not particularly romantic according to evidence he was able to draw from movies and television; he didn’t feel as if he had crossed any sort of line that could embarrass her; if she was angry she would have let him know; and certainly he didn’t cause her to run late to work. Penny ran late to work all on her own doing.

And this was only one of the things he was pondering.

Before he was able to get out a question to her, she had turned around and shut the door. Sheldon had stood, staring at the plate engraved with ‘4B’ that was screwed into the wood just below his eye level. And he started trying to figure out exactly what had happened.

That was two days ago.

This was the most maddening dead end he had ever reached.

Sheldon discovered that if he desired to keep a secret instead of being compelled to (by law of the nation or of friendship), it was a much easier task. The first thing he knew was that he did not want Leonard to know what had transpired until _he_ knew exactly what had transpired.

So accustomed was he to reciting everything he knew about the topic at hand, however, that his only option was to stop talking. Fortunately, he had the ability to see where his sentences were going so he was able to stop himself before they even glanced in Penny’s direction:

For example, during lunchtime at the university after which Wolowitz declared he was going to find a way to make his hands rougher as to make them more appealing to women, _“I don’t see the logic behind that. Hands are the chief organ with which we physically manipulate our environment, and the introduction of calluses decreases our sense of touch, which decidedly limits the capabilities of our fingers in which some of the densest areas of nerve endings are found. Another fascinating example is—”—the lips; the act of kissing stimulates the nerve clusters which is why lips are considered an erogenous zone, and I have found that the effect is surprising, although that may have had less to do with my physiological response to the act of kissing than to the fact that it was Penny._

And, on the subject of the new Star Trek movie, _“I would appreciate, Raj, if you would refrain yourself from talking about spoilers you have found online, because unlike some people I would like to enjoy my first experience of watching—”—the movie, despite the fact that perhaps a crucial plot point has already been revealed to me by Penny, who might I add kissed me the other night._

And, a few times, _“Leonard—”—I kissed her._

Of course, all of this led to quite a few cut-off sentences, which were uncharacteristic of Sheldon. However, he deduced that Leonard, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali knew about and possibly even overheard his and Penny’s fight (if nothing else) and chalked his odd behavior up to the tense silence and stilted looks that passed between him and her when they were within proximity of each other.

Sheldon was unsure of whether he hated her or not. He was even less sure of whether she hated him or not. Much of his time, more than he would care to admit, was dedicated to examining this. Many words had been thrown that night, most of which were angry and brutally honest, and as Sheldon had been telling the truth he didn’t see the need to take them back. Neither, apparently, did Penny, who obviously thought that her words were truthful as well (and a tiny tiny part of him agreed with her, but that part was quickly silenced). Of course he wasn’t hurt by what she had said, but angered by her lack of esteem for him and flustered by her unwillingness to back down to him, traits which he had rarely before encountered. And despite all of this he knew that she impressed him, and he enjoyed her presence, and that his skin tingled in a pleasant way when she touched him.

Penny was proving difficult to read. She frowned at him a lot. Sometimes he believed she was mad at him, but he had to remind himself that sometimes a frown didn’t indicate anger, but confusion or intense study. Sheldon himself sometimes found himself frowning at his white boards, at which he certainly didn’t harbor any sort of grudge. This was as far as he got, however, because he wasn’t adept at telling the difference between an angry frown or a confused frown or a deep-in-thought frown.

Thinking of all of this gave him a headache.

It didn’t help that it all ran through his brain all over again when he was near her.

Like now.

Dinner had become a nightly head-torture.

Penny had taken to the right cushion, sandwiching Leonard between them. Sheldon supposed this was an extension of this thing they were doing in which they ignored each other. Personally, he didn’t see how it helped. _He_ was still hyperaware of her existence as ever, and it wasn’t as if Leonard had enough stature to block her from his sight. Every now and again he would watch out of the corner of his eye the way her hair slid over her bare shoulder, or brushed against her neck, or the way she would raise food to her lips. Occasionally Leonard would touch her or kiss her. Sheldon didn’t like that. He would excuse himself to the kitchen when that happened.

Yes. This was exactly why he had chosen to forgo relationships, because of things like _this_.

Mulling over a can of Diet Coke he pulled out of the fridge, Sheldon wondered if it was socially acceptable for him to ask her what was going on. But if it _was_ socially acceptable, wouldn’t she have asked him first?

Still considering this, he went back to the couch. Leonard had his right arm draped casually over Penny’s shoulders. Sheldon tried to examine her covertly, shifting so he was facing slightly more to the right than usual. She was holding her food and trying not to laugh at something Wolowitz said. She scooted her rear a few inches forward in her seat, so she was slouching, and Leonard’s arm ended up being between one and two inches above her shoulders instead of resting on them. Her legs were crossed, left leg above her right leg.

At this point she turned her head and looked at him. Sheldon quickly started to examine his Diet Coke can, trying to figure out its dimensions, even though he already knew it was four point eight-one-two-five inches in height and one point two-five inches in radius. If filled to the brim it would contain approximately twenty point five-three-oh-eight cubic inches of Coke, and he was just estimating the loss of volume of the soda due to bubbles when an annoying crinkling caught his attention.

Wolowitz, who had been moving to the armchair from the floor, was digging out of the back cushion a small piece of paper. “Now how’d that little fella get wedged in there?” he asked, and then smirked suggestively at Penny. Penny rolled her eyes. Sheldon stopped himself from doing the same, and instead focused on the paper that Wolowitz was inconsiderately throwing onto the coffee table instead of into the trashcan.

It was a wrapper. A chocolate wrapper.

Penny seemed to have realized this just as Sheldon did, because they both obeyed their reflexes and looked at each other. Like it had two nights before, her skin bloomed red. Sheldon had the most irrational urge to touch it, to see if it was any warmer than normal.

Leonard appeared to have realized that he was caught in the middle of a look, because he glanced up and between Penny and Sheldon. Then he ventured the question that he and the others had obviously been wondering for the past few days. “Are you two... okay?”

Sheldon broke the look, picked the wrapper off the table and scolded Howard a little for not throwing it away. As he moved to the kitchen he heard Penny mention something about needing to make a phone call, walk to the door, and close it behind her.

“... Penny must have throttled him with a frying pan, or something, given him a concussion,” came Howard’s voice from the living room, obviously not meant for Sheldon to hear.

“Did you see the business with the wrapper? He didn’t even yell. I thought we had another shit fit coming our way,” Raj whispered back.

“I can still hear you,” Sheldon reminded them as he crossed back from the kitchen. The three of them jumped guiltily. “And Penny didn’t hit me with anything—”— _although it certainly feels as though she has._ Not wanting to sit down and endure any questioning and risk the possibility of letting anything slip, Sheldon decided to go get the mail, and informed them as such.

On the way to the mailbox, after he had shut the door to his own apartment, he made one stop.

Knock knock knock. “Penny.” Knock knock knock. “Penny.” Knock knock knock. “Penny.”

There was a shuffle, then silence on the other side of the door. Not liking being ignored, he repeated the process, intending on doing so until she answered.

The door swung open. The blush had faded, but Penny’s eyes were bright, and frowning again. Sheldon didn’t even have time to decipher the frown because she spoke instantly. “Sheldon, I don’t know.” Her voice was low but emphatic.

“You don’t know what?”

She sighed; it was short and impatient. “ _This_. _This_ , I don’t know what _this_ is.” She gestured between the two of them.

“Oh.” He was glad they were on the same page, then. “Can I come in.”

Penny leaned to the side, looking at the door opposite the hallway, and nodded. She stepped backward when he stepped in, shut the door, and crossed her arms.

“You’re not on the phone,” he observed.

“Yeah,” she bit. “I lied. What’s your excuse?”

“I’m going to get our mail. As soon as we are concluded here.” He felt unsure, and looked at her to try to see if he was able to tell how she felt. She wasn’t looking at him, glaring or otherwise. Her arms were still crossed, and her chin was raised while her eyes were on the floor. After a few seconds of trying to figure out what this meant, her eyes flickered upwards.

Then she frowned.

Sheldon about gave up.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Now he frowned too.

“Like what?”

“Like, like you’re trying to _figure me out_. Stop it.”

“But I _am_ trying to figure you out. And quite frankly it doesn’t help when you keep changing your facial expressions,” he informed her, annoyed.

“Well, you know what Sheldon,” she turned away, and walked toward the kitchen, gesturing in the wide way she did when she was incensed. Sheldon followed her, as if attached, and after a few steps he stopped himself so he was standing in front of the couch as she moved into the kitchen and back.

“I’m not another equation,” she continued, “or, like, one of your, one of your— _agh_ , I can’t even think anymore!”

Sheldon could empathize, but didn’t tell her so.

She stopped about a foot in front of him.

“You realize I cheated on Leonard.”

“ _With whom_?” Sheldon asked, startled.

Her mouth dropped open as she stared at him, and stared some more. Finally, angry blotches appeared on her cheeks. “ _With you_ , you idiot!”

“Oh.” Sheldon considered this. He supposed he had learned of cheating as something horribly wrong. Their encounter two nights ago hadn’t felt as such.

“I’m shocked as hell that Leonard still doesn’t know, Dr. Lyme-Disease-Research-Facility,” she grumbled, and dropped down on the couch.

The way she sprawled herself, slim limbs thrown everywhere, her hair (curly today) partially tossed over her shoulder and partially pressed behind her against the back of the couch, was aesthetically pleasing. It almost made him want to measure the angles and graph the curves. Almost. He comforted himself in that he wasn’t completely over the edge yet.

She watched him from this position from under her eyelids, probably waiting for his retort, and with a jolt it brought him back to an instance several days ago. An instance in which she had _looked_ at him, a Hershey’s wrapper in her fingers, and made something _click_ and—

“I’m sorry. I have to go get my mail.”

In seconds he was out the door and heading down the stairs. He had planned on hashing some more things out with her, but when she looked at him like that, in that way that made him feel like he was losing control of his own self, he knew he had to leave before he succumbed to those urges he so frequently criticized for being primitive and biological.

Sheldon was on the bottom floor, relieved that he and Leonard had come home later than usual and so there was actually mail to _get_ , when he heard the light _thump-thump_ , _thump-thump_ , _thump-thump_ of someone coming down the stairs. His mind must have subconsciously recognized the pattern and volume of her average footstep, because he knew that it was Penny and that she was descending quickly.

She jogged into view, all angles and curves that he wanted to commit to memory, and he looked down and began to sort through his mail, pretending to not have noticed her or, failing that, to not care about her presence.

“Sheldon.”

“Yes?”

“We have to talk.”

Sheldon looked up at her, waiting for her to go on. Penny seemed to steel herself, taking in a breath and looking around before focusing on him once more.

In his mind he attempted to calculate the probabilities of all things she may say, but he was hampered by a recurring possibility: _I choose Leonard_ , _I choose Leonard_ , _I choose Leonard_. It wasn’t until then that he realized that this boiled down to her choice, and Sheldon felt a little sick at how either way would tamper with his life. Possibility A: She chooses him, Leonard becomes angry and hurt, resulting in a few months of awkwardness and general disruption of the group dynamic or, even worse, Leonard moving out.

And, Possibility B: Penny chooses Leonard.

“I am...” She paused, evidently gathering her words. “... just as confused as you are, Sheldon.” She sighed, and leaned her head forward to rub at her forehead. “You, you piss me off _constantly_ and sometimes I don’t even think you _respect_ me but then things like, things like—well, you remember. And then I think about it, you know, _really_ think about it and the thought that you haven’t _done_ this before, it’s, well.” She sighed, something Sheldon also felt like doing, because all of her sentences were unfinished and weren’t really clearing things up for him.

She looked at him, and him at her, and he wondered if he was supposed to say something.

“For someone as straight-forward as you are, you really know how to confuse a girl,” Penny remarked, a little crossly Sheldon thought.

It put him on the defensive. “What’s confusing?” he inquired. “I thought I was perfectly clear the other night.”

“Yeah, well, I got kinda thrown around between the fight and the kiss.”

She was becoming annoyed again, and sarcastic. He wondered what it was he did that he always brought out that response in her.

“Alright.” Sheldon considered his next words, putting the phrases together into an acceptable order in his head. “I care about you. I’m attracted to you. I respect you above the others in our social circle, even though you haven’t even graduated from community college. Certainly I hold a higher regard for you than for Wolowitz, on most days,” he mused.

Penny’s eyes were round and her mouth was open the space of a centimeter, and her face was becoming red again. Sheldon set about trying to decipher this particular flush.

“You see, you say things like, like _that_ and you still manage to insult me in the middle of it all!”

Type: angry flush.

Once again, Sheldon about gave up. Social interactions were the most confusing thing in the world. “What was insulting?” he demanded.

“You keep bringing up the fact that I’m a _community college dropout_ like you’re like _astounded_ you’re able to respect me despite of it!”

He didn’t understand her point. “Well, normally, I _don’t_ hold respect for people who have less than a PhD—”

“Yeah, well, Sheldon, you’re gonna have to get over the fact that I didn’t graduate from—”

“Get over it?” he repeated, nonplussed. “It never bothered me. I still don’t understand your point. You don’t meet my standards but nevertheless I respect you more than those who do. I admit that I’m no expert in the nuances of social interaction, but I fail to see why you’re insulted.”

“Yeah. Well.” Her eyes were on the floor now. Sheldon thought he had this flush down: embarrassment. Or fluster. Was there a difference? “I guess I’m not used to compliments from you. Even in a kind of... backhanded way.”

“I didn’t mean for it to be a compliment. I was going for clarification. Now hold still.”

Her mouth opened to form a word, most likely _“What?”_ or _“Why?”_ , and Sheldon turned to put the mail down then reached forward and touched her cheek with the back of his fingertips. It was already warm, something he noted, but he both saw and felt it get even warmer. He attempted to figure out exactly _how much_ warmer than usual, but he wasn’t well-versed in the average temperature of her skin, and nevertheless to be exact he would have to use a sensitive thermometer—

His train of thought was interrupted by his head being unceremoniously yanked downwards. The next thing he knew, Penny had her mouth attached to his, and she apparently took advantage of his surprise by darting the tip of her tongue past his lips and just barely into his mouth. Last time she tasted like chocolate, this time like mint. He wondered absently if she had brushed, or taken an Altoid, or if she was just naturally minty. Of course, if she was naturally minty, that means the last time she should have tasted like mint-chocolate-chip, and Sheldon definitely remembered only chocolate, and—

His bottom lip was suddenly encased between both of hers, effectively breaking his train of thought once again.

It was at this point that he actually fully realized that Penny was kissing him, an actual kiss and not an angry token of revenge after which she shoved him against the refrigerator in his apartment, and once again something _clicked_ and he somehow saw a path between all of the overwhelming, frightening feelings spinning around in his brain to tell his hands to rest on her cheeks, then push into her hair, and he wasn’t sure _why_ he would tell his hands to do such a thing but it seemed logical enough and maybe now he could press more tightly onto her mouth, yes, that worked—

Too soon, Penny pulled back, looking flustered and apologetic, and Sheldon thought that perhaps she believed he didn’t want this or like this, or maybe that was his excuse, but either way he dipped forward as she retreated and managed to meet her mouth again. He didn’t quite know if he was supposed to do anything with his tongue, so he opted out of the notion entirely. Her lips were dry and warm but soft, and for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling until he finally detached himself, withdrawing his fingers from her hair and taking a step back.

Sheldon’s face felt very warm, and a little embarrassedly he picked up his mail again and fiddled with it.

“Sheldon, I—” Her voice was soft. Then she abruptly made a noise that could only be categorized as ‘frustrated.’

Why did the woman’s emotions have to change every few minutes? It didn’t do much for consistency.

“I can’t keep doing this!” Penny suddenly exclaimed, surprising him so much that he nearly dropped his mail. “I’m being a _horrible_ girlfriend! Like, seriously, Sheldon, I’m not being _any_ better than those lying assholes I used to date,” she railed. “Like—” She stopped, took a deep breath, and looked at him. Her lovely face was contorted into an expression Sheldon was unable to recognize. Regret? Desperation? He filtered through his vocabulary but he wasn’t able to find a direct fit.

“Listen—I don’t know what _this_ is, or where we’re going or how the hell we even got here, but I’m being so unfair to Leonard right now and—”

“So you choose Leonard.”

“I choose—what?”

“You choose Leonard.” Sheldon made each word distinct, ignoring his stomach that was balling up like crumpled paper.

“I—I don’t—”

“It’s the logical choice.” Sheldon shrugged. “He is already your boyfriend, so you won’t have to go through the task of severing ties with him.” Sheldon paused, realigning his thoughts. Then he nodded, on one level satisfied with what he said, and on another level quite not. “Of course, as before, I still do not approve of your relationship as a rule but—”— _I’m not going to start expecting you to listen to me._ He shrugged a little. “Good evening.”

Straightening up his mail, Sheldon walked past her and up the stairs, and didn’t hear a sound from where she stood.

\---

Sheldon wondered if he was supposed to feel guilty about Leonard, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The night before, long after he had returned from his encounter with Penny, Leonard had gone over to her apartment, presumably for coitus, and had returned a few minutes later looking disappointed. Sheldon had felt a little vicious when he asked his roommate if his dejection was the result of another carnal disaster, perhaps a floppy disc, and after a glare Leonard had responded that Penny hadn’t been in the mood.

And Sheldon had said, “Leonard—”— _I kissed her, but she chose you._

“What?”

For one of the rare times of his acquaintanceship with Leonard, Sheldon had been glad that his friend was made remarkably unobservant due to his own insignificant worries, because to Leonard’s question Sheldon had been unable to bring himself to answer. He couldn’t very well say, _“Nothing,”_ and the thought of revealing just before his bedtime what had happened gave him a stomachache, and he hadn’t wanted to say out loud, _She chose you_ , _She chose you_ , _She chose you_. So he had just kept silent, finished off an e-mail, and gone to bed.

It was a Sunday morning and Sheldon had just exited the shower and was going to his desk when his apartment door slammed open. Penny stormed in, something that greatly surprised Sheldon, because it was only nine in the morning and she was due to sleep for another two hours.

“Is Leonard home?” she demanded, striding over to him and stopping in front of him. Sheldon ignored that balling-up-paper feeling in his stomach again.

He tried to remember how he had spoken to her before he realized that he—well, before. It was proving difficult to get back into that mindset, however, so he just mildly answered her question.

“Leonard ran to the grocery—”

“Good. Now let’s get this out of the way.” And she kissed him again.

To say he was surprised would be like to say an atom bomb _might_ cause some structural damage to nearby buildings. He was flabbergasted. Didn’t she—? Why was she—? He thought she—

Sheldon was still processing by the time she let him go. He hadn’t even closed his eyes.

“Now listen here,” she started, jabbing a finger up at him. Her eyes were oddly bright, not in a glistening-with-tears way, just in a way that they stood out from her face more than usual. “I don’t know what the hell you were going on about yesterday, but for a _scientist_ , you sure as hell made a lot of unfounded assumptions. Because I don’t recall me saying ‘I’ or ‘choose’ or ‘ _Leonard_ ’ yesterday—”

“Actually, I recall you _did_ say all three words—”

She fixed him with a look, and said, “Excuse me?” in a way where it really wasn’t a question.

“—although I admit not in that particular order,” he said, a little more quietly, as if being loud would set off her fuse, which was impossible unless the bomb was sensitive to certain sounds at different volumes, something that he reflected might make a good element of a movie, someone saying a certain word a certain way and then everything _boom_ —

“—and let me explain this to you, you don’t seem to understand the sort of dilemma you put me in over here. First off, I’m still mad as fuck at your little chocolate-trick and then all that shit you flung in my direction the other day—”

“Penny, I’d like to point out that while I _like_ monkeys, I am not one myself, and secondly, in reference to our _argument_ and chocolate tricks you are _hardly_ innocent—”

“Shut up, Sheldon, no one gives, and you had it coming—”

“ _I had it coming_ —?”

“ _Yes_ , now, shhh!” Penny pressed not a finger, but her whole hand against his mouth, making him blink in a scandalized way and then jerk his head back to free himself. But by then she was already talking again.

“—but then you you you give me some good _kiss_ like I’m supposed to forgive you—”

Sheldon couldn’t remain shut up. “You think I did that for _forgiveness_?”

Penny stopped, and gave him a look, and Sheldon was very bad at reading expressions but _that_ one spoke clear English: _You interrupt me one more time and I’ll castrate you._

Sheldon raised his eyebrows, then frowned, then lifted his chin a little and crossed his arms, inviting her to go on.

“ _Good_. Now, you don’t seem to fully understand—” It took most of his self-control to not contest that, because when people told him he didn’t fully understand _anything_ it usually didn’t bode well for them. But the remnants of her Look were still on her face, so he settled for a glare until he was allowed to get a word in edgewise. “—but Leonard and I are in a relationship. I’m his girlfriend and I’m supposed to at least _respect_ him whether things are good or bad, and kissing his best friend is _way_ out of line. And it’s not as simple as breaking up with him, because he’s also my friend, and your friend, and _Sheldon_ , you have to allow for my expertise here because things are a hell of a lot more complicated than you think they are, and they’re gonna get worse in either case.”

“Fair enough,” he allowed, although his voice was stiff as he did so.

“And I’m gonna let you know that it _sucks_ that you didn’t figure your shit out _before_ I started to date him, because it still would have been _complicated_ but at least I could make stupid choices like kissing you in front of the mailboxes without having a boyfriend upstairs! And on the topic of _choices_ , what is it you want from me, Sheldon? A relationship? A caretaker?”

It wasn’t that he wanted a _relationship_ , per se, he just wanted Penny. It was like when they kissed. It wasn’t that he was kissing a girl. It was Penny, that he was kissing Penny. There was a large, indefinable difference that was very difficult to explain even to himself.

“I want you,” he said, and then scoffed at himself, because even he heard the ten-year-old-Texan-boy-in-the-aluminum-house in his voice. “If within the parameters of that statement is the necessity for a ‘relationship,’ then so be it, I suppose.”

Penny’s eyebrows tilted upwards and inwards, a look he tried to analyze, but he was optimistic about it because _down_ wards-and-inwards meant that she was angry and this was at least compositionally opposite of that.

“I like what I have with Leonard. And don’t you start with your assumptions!” she warned, as he looked down at his hands. “I like it. He’s reliable and he makes me feel good about myself. And sometimes, honestly, _you don’t_. So I keep getting this feeling that if I dump him for _you_ that I’m making a huge-ass gamble that just _won’t pay off_.”

“So you’re considering it,” is what he got out of it.

Penny rolled her eyes.

“That’s what you got out of it.”

“Well, it’s what I focused on.”

“Wonderful.” (Sarcasm.)

“Leonard recognizes your faults as much as I do.”

“What?”

“He just doesn’t _have the spine_ , if you will, to point them out.”

Penny looked offended, but he was unsure if it was for her own sake or Leonard’s sake.

“What a way to talk about your best friend.”

Sheldon shrugged. “He led me to believe I was going to win the Nobel Prize. At times I have little sympathy for him.”

“Or this is just you being you,” she muttered, probably knowing he was going to hear her.

“I have a query.”

“Yeah?” Penny was looking down and to her left, apparently distracted.

“If you’re so worried about being Leonard’s girlfriend and respecting him, as you said, why did you kiss me when you walked in?”

“Well,” she said, sighing. “I knew it was probably gonna happen at some point during this conversation, so I wanted to get it done with, you know, on my terms. And—”— _I wanted to_ , is what Sheldon wanted to hear. But she looked up at him, and he realized he probably left out a “blush” category, because this one was a _surprised_ blush, although he figured that could be a subset of embarrassment if one was embarrassed that they didn’t realize something sooner, and—

Oh, he had to stop thinking about this.

“You were correct.”

“You’re giving me _whiplash_ with the way you hold a conversation, Sheldon.”

Sheldon ignored that, thinking perhaps she was being rhetorical as one could not get whiplash from a conversation, but he didn’t care to dwell on it at this point.

He didn’t quite know how to do this without being caught up in the moment, so he felt a little awkward when he stepped forward and leaned down. Not wanting to deal with the process of leaning all the way down and having to assume Penny would help him, he let his lips touch the closest piece of skin: right under her hairline.

He lingered there for an acceptable amount of time, thinking about the way her skin warmed under his lips, but then her head started to angle back and he let his mouth fall away. “Although it wasn’t on your terms,” he elaborated.

She was looking up at him, and they were very close but he didn’t feel uncomfortable with it at all. He was a little surprised however when he felt her hands at his elbows. “I hate it when you win,” she said. “It doesn’t help with that whole ego problem of yours.” She sighed. “Well-played, Dr. Cooper.”

And, almost laughably predictably, “Sheldon, it looks like they’re not stocking—”

Sheldon and Penny sprang away from each other as Leonard walked in the door, carrying a paper grocery bag. He stopped, looked at the two of them, standing three feet away from each other and staring at their feet. He looked as if wasn’t quite sure about what he had seen.

“What were you two doing?”


	3. Unsaid II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon, tired of constantly cutting himself off, had answered immediately: “Penny and I were discussing your relationship.” He had pronounced the word in a way that made it clear exactly what he thought about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second installment to the sequel of "Calling Bluffs".

“What were you two doing?” Leonard had asked.

Sheldon, tired of constantly cutting himself off, had answered immediately: “Penny and I were discussing your _relationship_.” He had pronounced the word in a way that made it clear exactly what he thought about it. Out of the corner of his eye he had seen her right hand lift into the air to rest on her forehead. “Specifically, I was advising her to end it, because I thought it more prudent that she enter into one with me.”

The discussion that had followed was relatively short, mostly because Leonard had left to sleep at Raj’s. He suspected a lot more had been said than he had actually heard, because he was given to understand that as much as seventy to eighty percent of communication was nonverbal, which of course didn’t help him at all. He was relatively accurate in interpreting body and facial cues if the opposite party gave him the opportunity to concentrate and think. Which, in this case, they didn’t.

After his initial statement he really hadn’t gotten a chance to get a word in edgewise (not for lack of trying, of course, but Penny had sent in his direction a few looks from which he deduced that he wasn’t helping). There was a lot of back-and-forth that quite frankly Sheldon wasn’t able to keep up with, because it was a lot of discussion about relationships and feelings and, “if this is what I’m feeling _now_ —”s.

Leonard had been very, very angry.

Sheldon had ended up drowning most of the fight out by cubing numbers in his head. Penny at least was trying to keep her voice low, and it all became background noise. Only one time was he pulled back up to the surface; Penny had said something and ended her sentence with, “Right, Sheldon?” And, at his blank look: “We’ll hold off on—anything—for a while—until it’s okay. Or at least better. Right?”

Sheldon wasn’t too happy at this prospect, but he had nodded stiffly. In response, Leonard had left. Sheldon didn’t know what this meant, and he didn’t get to ask, because an upset Penny (muttering how much everything sucked) had left as well.

\---

“So, dude, what happened last night?”

Sheldon shot Raj a look and sat down at the cafeteria table with his tray. He spared a glance to the vacant chair next to him, where Leonard was supposed to be sitting, and where he wasn’t. It threw the table off balance.

“Many things happened last night, though I assume you’re referring to something about Leonard.”

“Well, yeah, he slept over at my place.”

Howard, who had been paying very little attention to the conversation until that point, looked at Raj. “You guys had a sleepover?”

“No. Leonard just... slept over,” Raj said. Howard continued looking at him. “He slept over but it wasn’t a sleepover!”

Wolowitz looked back at his food, a little sullenly, Sheldon thought. He had hoped that this had distracted them from the original point, but then Raj resumed the conversation.

“But seriously. What happened.”

This was rapidly turning into his least favorite conversation, almost surpassing any dialogue on spelunking.

Likely sensing Sheldon’s annoyance, Raj continued, “Leonard just told me last night that he and Penny broke up because ‘Sheldon’s a gigantic douchebag.’”

Sheldon raised his eyebrows, then chose his words. He didn’t particularly like the prospect of telling them what happened, partially because he was so inexperienced in this realm and he wasn’t wont to speak freely about something in which he was not an expert.

“Penny and I altered our relationship paradigm,” he said simply, and then began to unwrap the utensils he brought from home.

“Wait,” Howard said. The other two looked at him. It took a few moments before he spoke again. “Wait.” Another pause. “So you’re saying that... you and Penny. Danced the... horizontal tango.”

Well this was revolting.

Mistaking the expression on Sheldon’s face for confusion, Howard continued. “Did the nasty. Hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing.”

“‘Had sex,’” Raj clarified.

Sheldon spared Wolowitz a scathing glare that didn’t seem to worry the engineer at all. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I feel that I should inform you that two people _can_ alter the nature of their interactions _without_ engaging in coitus. When we upgraded our relationship from colleagues to friends, did _we_ have sexual intercourse?”

That shut Howard up. It also made him a little green, Sheldon noted.

Satisfied and perhaps a little smug, he returned to his lunch.

“But still.” Raj seemed hell-bent on continuing this conversation. “Did you screw with Leonard’s relationship with Penny?”

“You can hardly ‘screw’ very much more with something that was doomed in the first place. I merely helped to end it perhaps a bit sooner than I predicted it would have.”

“Raj, you’re missing the crux of the question here.” Wolowitz leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. “Can we skip to the part about you and Penny?”

“Penny and I have developed feelings for each other. ...Raj, you just stuck your elbow in your dinner, are you aware of that?”

He turned his attention back to his food, but a sudden movement caught his eye. Raj had hit Howard on the shoulder with his fist, then held out his palm.

Sheldon frowned as Howard shook his head.

“No. Bazinga. Definitely.”

“How is ‘bazinga’ in any way an appropriate response—?” Sheldon wondered.

“No—he just said it—by they way—” Raj’s attention was now directed at Sheldon. “—dude, not cool—but still.”

“But still what?” Sheldon wanted to know.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Howard responded, ignoring Sheldon.

Huffing, Sheldon decided that enough was enough and stood up. If the two of them were going to divvy off into their own conversations it was time for him to leave. Normally Leonard was there and he had a chance to provide somewhat stimulating backup conversation, but. At the moment that wasn’t possible.

\---

With Leonard staying at Raj’s, Sheldon had the night before been forced to stay up far past his bedtime in order to choose a suitable cab company and driver. But even though Mr. Hoffman actually obeyed traffic laws (remarkable for a cab driver, Sheldon found) and kept his cab clean (Sheldon put down a towel just in case) it wasn’t the same as when Leonard would drive him. For starters, he didn’t even attempt to make conversation with Mr. Hoffman because he wasn’t planning on knowing him for long; and besides, the man completely skipped over most of the ‘th’ sounds in his words. In the morning his brain wasn’t stimulated as per usual and he figured it might affect the quality of his work. It might have been in only a minute way, but minute amounts did add up. To compensate Sheldon had taken to watching the traffic lights and predicting whether or not it would turn yellow and then red before the car reached it. He was accurate over ninety percent of the time.

And, in the afternoon, Leonard and he would usually discuss their research or debate about comic books (more specifically, Sheldon would discuss his research then idly half-listen as Leonard chattered about his). Sheldon usually saw this time as a metaphorical ‘cool down’ period. It was jarring, in a way, for that to change.

After work Sheldon sat at his desk, taking advantage of the solitude to focus more on his research in order to make up for any slippage due to an insufficiently warmed-up brain in the morning. Despite their assurance to not engage in a ‘relationship’ for an undetermined amount of time for Leonard’s sake, Sheldon surprised himself by finding that he wouldn’t have minded spending time with Penny in this ‘down time’ in order to pester her about the state of her apartment, or allow her to pester him by sitting in his spot or putting things back in his refrigerator with the label facing inward and the cap not screwed on tightly enough. She had switched shifts with another waitress; she normally didn’t work dinner on Mondays but the next day she was appearing at an audition that conflicted with her Tuesday work schedule.

Koothrappali and Wolowitz came over around five o’clock sans Leonard.

As soon as Howard walked in the door he asked in his particular loud announcer-voice, “Where is Penny?”

Sheldon made a point of saving his work and closing it before answering the question.

“She is working tonight, Wolowitz.” He turned in his chair to face them. Then he frowned. “Well, where’s the food?”

“The food?” Raj.

“Yes. The Chinese food. You know we have Chinese tonight. Usually Leonard picks it up but I’m assuming he’s still at your apartment.”

“Well, we assumed Penny would get it,” Howard interjected.

“ _Penny’s at work_ ,” Sheldon repeated. Honestly, the man had a Master’s, even Sheldon knew that one didn’t need a _that_ to understand this concept.

“Well _how were we supposed to know_?”

“When I said we were having Chinese tonight, that was the social cue for you to pick it up. I have never before told you we were having Chinese because I always assumed you knew so. I told you tonight because you were going to pick it up. I already called in the order and now it’s getting cold because you are here wasting time dilly-dallying when you could be driving to the restaurant.”

“See?” Wolowitz said, turning to Raj. “If it had _happened_ , don’t you think he would be any more _human_?”

“It’s _Sheldon_ , you honestly think he would change?”

“ _Exactly my point_.”

“No, dude. You haven’t seen Leonard yet. They’re not joking.”

“See, I can tell you don’t believe it because you’d be flipping a bigger bitch. You just want to win.”

“ _Excuse me_.”

Both Wolowitz and Koothrappali turned around, their faces resembling the face of a cat Sheldon had seen just before his father ran over it with the truck.

“It’s 5:08. Dinner starts at five and neither of you seem to be moving to pick up our meal.”

Raj grumbled something at Howard, did an eye-rolling expression in Sheldon’s direction, and walked out the front door.

Satisfied, Sheldon stood and went to the kitchen in order to pre-wash his utensils while Howard began to flip through the channels on the television.

He had surmised that his two compatriots had been discussing his and Penny’s relationship status, but Sheldon didn’t care enough for their opinion on it and nor did he have any great desire to prove anything to them (honestly, he was one PhD above Raj and Howard put together, what did he need to prove?). So he let them speculate as he himself speculated on his situation with Leonard.

After Howard and Raj went home and Sheldon was making himself a glass of warm milk, the front door opened. Thinking that perhaps Raj was coming back for the jacket he had forgotten (it was Wii Bowling night and the exertion had presumably caused him to be uncomfortably warm because he had taken it off), Sheldon turned around and gestured toward the coat closet where he had hung it. But—

“Oh. Leonard. Hello.”

“Sheldon, I’m just coming home, and this just means it’s unlikely that I’m going to kill you. I don’t want to talk.”

“Alright.”

Sheldon put his milk in the microwave and timed it as Leonard walked towards the back room.

“Leonard.”

Usually when someone said that they didn’t want to talk Sheldon wouldn’t push the issue, but he felt compelled to say this.

“While I never believed your relationship was going to make it in the first place, I truly am sorry for being the catalyst to its dissolution.”

Sheldon didn’t quite know how to explain it in order to have Leonard understand; he could hardly explain it to himself. It had taken the better part of a week to comprehend what had been going on in terms of his hormone levels and emotions while Penny had (unknowingly to him) “turned the tables.” It would have taken him _much_ longer than that had she not kissed him in his kitchen, and tasted of chocolate. Even Sheldon knew at the time that her kiss hadn’t meant anything to her, that it was just the last act of her performance, but it had done something irreversible to him.

However, he didn’t get the chance to attempt to explain anything, as apparently what he had said made Leonard angry all over again.

“You know what Sheldon, I don’t want to hear about your, your omniscience or whatever it was, because you’re really crap as a friend, you know that? I’m going to talk to you when I’m ready so I’d appreciate it if you’d _shut up_ beforehand. No matter how incapable you are of that,” he muttered, turning around to go back to his room.

Sheldon considered calling after him, but he wasn’t sure for what, but in either case Leonard had made a clear rule and he wasn’t sure of the consequences if he violated it.

The microwave beeped in the background.

\---

He had been examining his feelings in regards to his roommate the past few days, and had come to the conclusion that he was upset by the disturbance in their relationship as friends and roommates. Of course, he had fought with Leonard before, but usually the fights lasted only at most two days before they figuratively ‘blew over.’ This one had so far been lasting for four, and the resulting stress interrupted Sheldon’s circadian rhythms.

Of course he felt bad that he had hurt Leonard and for that he apologized, but Sheldon was quite unable to understand why he was still angry. From what he observed during the month-long period of time that Leonard and Penny had been together, they hadn’t done much past sex and the occasional outing. Aside from being more physically intimate with each other their interactions had remained static as compared to when they had been friends.

After getting over the initial surprise that he _had_ noted their dynamic to such a degree despite his disinterest in social interactions besides his own, he had asked Penny about the matter (he would have asked Leonard directly, but since Leonard had taken to ignoring him the effort was useless).

She’d replied, “Sweetie, it’s gonna take him a while to get over it and get used to it. You can’t expect him to follow your train of thought and be fine with it after only like a week.”

“Why not?”

At this point she had fixed him with a look that from previous experience he knew meant ‘because that’s how it is and you won’t be able to change it not even through sheer force of will.’

(He disagreed, but nevertheless decided to make no attempts.)

\---

On Thursday Sheldon walked into the ground floor landing with his messenger bag and his towel. His stomach did an odd, not-unpleasant turn when he saw the back of Penny’s head, blonde hair dangling from a ponytail at the nape of her neck. At the clenching of his stomach, his first reaction was to think of what sort of pathogens could possibly be harbored in the cab he had just exited, but then she turned around it happened again, so he deduced that it had to do with her.

“Hello Penny.”

“Sheldon.” The right corner of her mouth quirked up.

Sheldon remembered the last time they had met at the mailboxes.

“What, were you going swimming? It’s a little late in the year for that,” she commented as they began to climb the stairs together. “The towel,” she elaborated when he just looked at her.

“Oh. No. I don’t swim.”

“You don’t swim, you don’t dance... what do you do?” She was smiling a little as she said this.

“I play _Halo_.” Wasn’t this obvious? “You missed Halo night. I believe that some of Leonard’s latent anger was directed toward me via the game because I have never lost to Leonard and Wolowitz before.”

“Oh.” She paused, and Sheldon tried to figure out if this information made her uncomfortable. “Well you know I had to work, to make up for all of Tuesday I missed. What did you do Tuesday? Charlotte said she didn’t see you guys.”

“We went to Big Boy. It is the backup plan should you be absent on Tuesday. I frankly don’t trust any of the other servers in that restaurant of yours.”

“Wait.” They paused, halfway off the second landing. “You have a _backup routine_?”

“Of course. I have to be prepared for the worst.” He frowned down at her, feeling as if he were missing her point.

“That would have been helpful, Sheldon. Like, constantly.”

“For _when_?”

“Like for all those times you freaked out because one tiny itty bitty thing went wrong!”

Sheldon stared at her. “ _It’s for emergency use only_!”

Penny sighed. “Of course.” She started climbing again, and Sheldon followed her. “So aren’t you going to ask me how my audition went?”

“I assumed you would tell me whether I asked or not.”

“I think it went well. I’m not gonna get my hopes up, but I don’t think they _hated_ me.”

“I suppose that’s promising.”

Penny shot him a look, and did a double take. “Sheldon are you _smiling_?”

“No.” He made sure he wasn’t anymore.

“Aww, you’re smiling!” At this point she smiled. Sheldon looked down at his hand that was clutching his towel, wondered how hard he would have to scrub his hand to get any of the germs off that no doubt were transferring to his skin due to its contact with the towel.

Thrown off guard, and eager to get himself back on track, Sheldon said as they reached their landing, “It’s interesting to note that in Russia most civilians don’t smile on the street or in public. There’s a conception that it makes the person appear foolish.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that in Russia most—”

“Never mind. Sheldon, how is it that you know the social customs of every place beside your own?”

They paused on the fourth floor.

“Tonight is pizza night.”

“Yeah. Thursday. I know.”

They looked at each other.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

He sighed impatiently. “Well you weren’t here yesterday, and you’re here tonight, I thought social protocol dictates that you make up for your irregular absence from last night’s activities by ‘hanging out,’ if you will, tonight.”

Penny smiled the smile that usually preceded sarcasm. Sheldon prepared himself for the worst.

“You asking me out, Sheldon?”

“I’m asking you _in_ to our apartment.” He pronounced each word clearly because in truth he was once again thrown off guard. “Which perhaps might be novel for you as usually you ignore the purpose of a door and a lock by letting yourself in anyway.” He considered. “If you’re thinking that it qualifies as a _date_ —well, I suppose, if you would like to think so, but all five of us are going to be there eating pizza and watching the third disc of _Firefly_ so—”

Sheldon heard the door behind him open, so he cut himself off again

Turning around he saw Leonard standing in the doorway, keys in hand, presumably to go pick up the pizza as ever since the incident three years ago Sheldon refused to allow it to be delivered directly to the apartment.

There was a silence between the three of them, for which he was grateful in comparison to the yelling that went on earlier. He looked between Leonard and Penny. Penny was looking at the floor, her face turning red, causing Sheldon to want to touch it. He had done that before, hadn’t he? It wouldn’t be disallowed by their promise to Leonard if he had touched her face before she had shattered his carefully-structured life in a few choice moments?

“Yes,” came her voice, startling him. “Yes, I will hang out with you, Sheldon. All four of you. Tonight. For pizza. With all four of you.” Her voice was unnecessarily loud. “And I’ll sit on the armchair,” she added.

“Okay,” he said, confused. Was he supposed to care about her choice of seating?

A movement to his left indicated that Leonard was going downstairs. Sheldon watched him; his head was bent, and his brows furrowed, and he didn’t say anything. He was rounding the corner on the third landing when with a jolt Sheldon remembered: “You asked them to distribute the pepperonis evenly, right?” he called after his roommate, a little panicked.

There was no answer and he felt a hand grip his arm and drag him over the threshold.

“What?” he yelped as she shut the door. “If the pepperonis aren’t evenly distributed there’s a chance that with imprecise cutting—”

“Sheldon,” she interrupted. He pursed his lips, annoyed. “Remember that thing about back-up plans?”

He nodded, stiffly.

“Well, you’re gonna have to let go of your _craziness_ for a while when it comes to Leonard because he’s taken this a lot better than most people would have.”

“But I’m not—”

He cut off because she did something unprecedented and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. He stood there, feeling awkward with his arms still sort of just held out by his sides.

“Penny, isn’t this a violation of—”

“Friends hug all the time, Sheldon.”

It was strange hearing her voice directly below him.

“But we never did.”

Her head moved against his chest. He looked down; she was shaking it.

“Do you ever stop talking?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Then shut up and hug me back.”

Sheldon obeyed.

Once he got past the initial surprise, he considered their situation and decided he liked it. She was warm and her hair smelled nice, and when she moved her head the light reflected off of it in interesting ways. Penny’s back and waist were smooth curves melting into each other. Contact with her skin initiated the warm buzzing feeling with which he was starting to familiarize himself.

“Damn!”

It was the most unpleasant voice Sheldon could have possibly heard at that moment, with the exception of Barry Kripke.

He and Penny broke apart to see his two other compatriots standing in the doorway.

“Look at that,” Howard muttered, obviously disappointed. With an exaggerated sigh he reached into his front pocket and pulled out a wad of money, rifling through it. He extracted three bills and shoved them in Raj’s face.

Raj took the money, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the pair of them. Sheldon rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen, quite annoyed and wondering if that was grounds for giving Wolowitz a strike.

“You _bet_ on us?”

Penny sounded infuriated. Sheldon deemed a strike unnecessary at this point.

“Penny,” said Wolowitz, sounding like a car salesman. “Raj and I put money on _everything_ no matter _how_ unlikely it is. I got ten for Leonard, but if you hook up with _me_ I’ll get six _hundred_.” There was a pause. Sheldon turned around to see the man do his frankly ridiculous swagger toward Penny, whose jaw was clenched. “How’d you like to make three hundred dollars?” He raised his eyebrows twice in what Sheldon hypothesized was supposed to be in a suggestive manner.

“I can probably make more than that as a reward for _kicking you in the nuts_.”

“I’ll match and raise whatever they pay!”

Sheldon was unable to see Penny’s exact expression because she took a step forward that took it out of sight from his view in the kitchen, but in any case it made Wolowitz back away.

“If you’re done,” Sheldon said to Wolowitz, moving to the shelf to pick up the _Firefly_ case. “I think we’d all appreciate it if we moved on with our night without having to listen to your futile attempts to mate.”

Penny had seated herself in the armchair at this point, jaw still clenched, her arms and legs crossed, and concentrating with surprising force on the blank TV.

It seems this increased distance between the two of them renewed Howard’s courage. “Four hundred? Five hundred?” he said as Sheldon put in the disc and settled himself in his spot. “A thousand?”

At this point Sheldon shot him a look.

“Gosh, excuse a man for trying,” Howard muttered.

\---

The next few weeks passed in this manner. Raj cornered him at work and talked about how “uncool” he was. Howard’s remarks ended up getting so annoying that when Penny poured her Diet Coke on him, getting soda all over the floor, Sheldon had barely cringed. Leonard still wasn’t talking to him above the bare minimum, but he _had_ started to allow Sheldon into his car on the way to work as long as they didn’t converse.

The routine wasn’t preferable, but Sheldon was just beginning to settle into it when Leonard deigned to start speaking again.

“I’m still peeved at you,” was how his roommate broke his silence.

Sheldon stared at Leonard, trying to decide if he was allowed to answer.

“You can talk to me,” Leonard added.

“Oh. Good.” Sheldon cleared his throat. “Well, that’s understandable.”

“But...” Leonard said, looking at the floor. They were in their apartment, Leonard lingering by the armchair, Sheldon in his desk chair.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“I certainly hope so. —Sorry. Go on.”

“It’s just... I don’t know. I guess I appreciate your consideration for me in the... aftermath of all this. Yours and Penny’s.”

He paused.

“Okay,” Sheldon said, wondering if that was what he was supposed to say. Leonard didn’t seem to acknowledge his response.

“And... I don’t know. This is. Uncomfortable, I guess. But. I sort of see how this is affecting you.”

This _was_ uncomfortable.

“Oh.”

“And. I was pissed that it happened, because, well, obviously, but...” He began to fiddle with the corner of the armchair cushion. “It’s like you won, again, you know?”

“Won what?”

“Penny.”

Sheldon was confused. “I’m confused. Were we in some sort of competition?”

“I don’t...”

“Was Penny a prize? Because as far as I know trophies don’t choose the ‘winners’, if we’re forced to be metaphorical here, and she made it clear that this was her choice and her choice alone. I admit if I hadn’t interfered this wouldn’t have happened, and I certainly didn’t _choose_ to interfere, I was perfectly content with the manner of my existence until—”

“Okay, Sheldon, let me talk, okay?”

Sheldon tightened his jaw.

“Yeah, I get it, okay? And maybe—that—was part of the problem. I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is we’re okay, or something. Not completely, but. I’d still like it if I didn’t have to... see... anything, but, I mean, I’m not involved, so.”

Silence.

“Okay,” Sheldon said. He thought that he may have heard Leonard say that things were settling back to how they used to be, and he thought about asking him to clarify, but this felt fragile so he resigned himself to spending the better part of the night in bed thinking about this conversation. “That’s a relief, I suppose,” he ventured.

The other man nodded, causing Sheldon to relax, as this was good evidence for his hypothesis. Then Leonard cleared his throat, turned around, and left to go to his room.

Sheldon sat in his desk chair.

Then he sighed, and turned back around in order to shut off his computer. He was startled by the sound of the door opening.

Penny was shutting the door behind her, quietly, a smile on her face. Sheldon opened his mouth to say any number of things to her but she beat him to it.

“I was listening at the door.”

“Penny!” he said, standing. “Do you have _any_ notion on the concept of _privacy_? I can type up a guide—”

Penny approached him. “Yeah yeah yeah, listen—”

“ _You_ seem to be doing enough of that for the both of us—”

She kissed him.

It gave his mind that rare blank state for a moment before he detached himself.

“Is this _allowed_?”

Penny rolled her eyes. Once again he wondered why she did this so often.

“Honestly, were you even _here_ when Leonard was talking?”

He frowned. “Of course I was.”

“Really? Because it sure doesn’t sound like you were.”

Sheldon didn’t know how to respond to this, so while he was figuring this out he glared at her.

“We’re alright. He’s still unhappy, but he can stomach it, is what he said.”

“Oh.”

Penny laughed at him.

“I was coming over to give you some good news,” she went on. “I got that part I was telling you about. Despite, you know, the fact that I’m such a shitty actress.”

Sheldon recognized the callback to their argument, the one that had started everything. Penny didn’t look particularly angry or challenging as she said this, like she usually did when she was ready to win a fight.

“I never said those exact words,” he responded. “And in any case I had been in the process of admitting that I was wr—wasn’t exactly correct in that assessment.”

“Congratulations would have worked, too.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” She leaned upwards, tilting her head, and Sheldon felt his rate of respiration increase, his peripheral vision blur—she was very close now, and when she spoke next her voice was quiet. “You’re saying a lot of right things tonight. ...Here. Have a chocolate.”

Penny held something in front of his face. He blinked, and then gave her a look, but it didn’t have the desired effect; she laughed.

“Oh, don’t look like that! It was a _joke_. Here.” She popped the chocolate into her mouth, locked her fingers around the back of his neck, applying pressure that prompted him to bend forward. “We can share.”


End file.
